Oh my god. What a wonderful start to a Saturday. Football is on the tellie, and food is cooking. Well, water is boiling, but none the less. We’re having sirloin filets, garlic mashed red potatoes, and mac n’ cheese. I’m starving, after I basically didn’t eat any real dinner last night; it consisted of chips, ranch dip, and a cheese ball. Needless to say, I felt like absolute shit this morning, but what are ya gonna do. Fuck it I say!
So, on a non-football note (there needs to never be such a thing as a non-football note) I have something to touch on that I found, well, to say the least, FUCKING TERRIBLE, with a side of fame-whoring. GP and I listen to the Kevin and Bean podcast from KROQ out of Los Angeles, and our very favorite Ralph Garman reported on a story I thought I HAVE to tell you fine people about.
If you’re unfamiliar with Kim Kardashian
you live under a fucking rock you’re fortunate. Somehow you have made it through life pure and good, and haven’t been tainted by her or any of her fame-whoring family. Oh, what is Kim Kardashian famous for, you say? Let me tell you: A FUCKING SEX TAPE WITH WASHED UP R&B ARTIST RAY-J. Yeah, THAT Ray-J, the little brother of much more successful R&B singer Brandi. Somehow after that shit was released some years ago, people mistakenly thought she was somewhat attractive, and she instantly became a celebrity. For what, I have no idea. I guess people put her on a pedestal because her FATHER was the more famous one. He was Robert Kardashian, OJ Simpson’s lawyer during the famous case for the murder of Nicole Brown and that other guy. Well, the morons people over at E! Television decided that her family was time-worthy, and gave her and her family their own show, Keeping Up with the Kardashians. No, I’m not linking that piece of garbage. Shut up. Her mom is married to Bruce Jenner, an Olympian from the seventies, but you would never recognize Bruce. He has been L.A.-ed over the years and looks like someone’s overly Botoxed grandmother.
From left to right above, that’s
a yeti Khloe, Kourtney, Kim, Kris, and Bruce. There’s a son Robert Jr. and two other daughters but who cares. Anywho, Kris is Kim’s manager. Remember that.
Well, Kim is now dating Kanye West. If you don’t know who Kanye is
lucky lucky you, he’s a super-star rapper and mega-douchebag. Kim is a fame-whoring stain on society, so they’re a match made in reality TV heaven. They both make more money than God, and don’t have the common sense God gave a fucking doorknob between them. Well, Mr. Ralph Garman reported the story stating that Kanye decided Kim needed a new wardrobe makeover (the monetary cost of her entire wardrobe could feed a third world country for a fucking year), and they promptly got rid of all of her clothes to make room for new ones. Well, to not look like a complete cunt I guess completely ungrateful, Kim decided she was going to auction off and sell all of her old clothes on eBay and Craigslist. Ok, fair enough, she does have some cute things out of the bunch, but where you’re gonna find some working prostitutes with big asses that can afford her clothes is beyond me. In addition, she added that 100% of the proceeds would be donated to her church! Wow! Look out, we’ve got some charity over here! That’s really nice of her! Donating all of the money to her church was really nic-
WAIT A SECOND. Back the fun bus the fuck up. Where does Kim Kardashian go to church? Not some run of the mill plebeian church, surely. Well, Ralph said he looked up the church, and low and behold it’s here: http://www.lifechangecommunity.org/. Hmm, ok, seems like kind of a small church for the bigger than life Kardashians to attend…WAIT. If you read closely, looks like this church was founded by a pastor and Kris Jenner. KRIS JENNER?! Isn’t that Kim’s mom?!! Yep, sure is. So, all of the donations from Kim’s clothes go to the CHURCH KIM’S MOM FOUNDED. What?! And the church meets in the Sheraton in Augora Hills CA. Now, in case you fine people don’t know, Kim appeared on the Piers Morgan show last year I believe, and was quoted as saying this: “I give 10 percent away to the church and that’s what I was taught. Every year.” (source) Now, Kim Kardashian grossed over $18 million dollars last year according to Forbes Magazine. 10% of $18,000,000 is $1,800,000. That church gets that EVERY YEAR. Just from HER. Now, my question is….A. Why is that church still so small and B. Why are they meeting at the Sheraton,and not in their own building. They obviously have way more money than they know what to do with. On top of all of the money they’re cashing in from her selling all of her clothes.
This whole thing just seems really fishy to me
and it’s not her va jay-jay I’m smelling. As you know, churches are non-profit organizations that are non-taxed. Hmmm… Something’s just not sitting right with me. I feel like something is going to come of this hopefully the cancellation of their show, I just don’t know what yet. But feel sure, as soon as anything pops up, I’ll be the first to let you know.
After all that fame-whoring exposure, here’s a pallet cleanser, a nice pic of Batman:
Just pretend Robin is Kim. All is well.